FAQ

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Are you going to go to Hell?
A: We don’t think so… this is the extent of our perversions, but just in case we’ve secured waterfront property with docks. Better be safe than sorry.
Q: Has the business really been around since 1102AD?
A: Absolutely. As far as you know.
Q: Am I required to choose the name placed on a Deed?
A: No you’re not. In fact, many people ask us to leave the Deed’s ownership blank. This gives them the option of assigning the ownership later to the person who most deserves it, or selling it on the open market. Having the person sign it themselves is even more authentic than having us print their name, and this will better protect your property later if boundary lines are disputed. (We will happily print their name in script at the time of purchase. You should also be aware that the Deed is a bearer instrument, so unless it is completely filled in, it can be reassigned to anyone if it should fall into the wrong hands.)
Q: Is the Deed legal in all fifty US states and every country worldwide?
A: Yes it is, but any disputes questions or changes must be taken up upon your eventual arrival (with Deed in hand) at the dispute desk before you pass through Limbo. (Over-world courts will of course tell you that bringing it to them is just silly. It’s a jurisdiction thing.)
Q: May I return it? My boyfriend has mended his ways and is no longer going to Hell.
A: Don’t be silly — of course he’s still going. Just give him some time and watch him closely. Your investment will pay off big time eventually. However, if you’re absolutely sure he’s gone legit, then yes, you may return it. Custom frame costs, shipping costs and a very small deed transference document fee will still apply. (The demon assigned to you however, may not let things go as easily. And we’re kidding about the document fee.)
Q: Are the limited editions really limited?
A: Yes, very much so. Currently there are fewer than 2500 of the limited editions available. Each one is individually numbered and hand signed. Once these properties are gone, they are gone forever.
Q: Do you think I’m hot?
A: Not as hot as you’ll be when you’re lounging lakeside, sipping tequila and kicking it with the lava flow demons.